Carl Sagan's Ghost Comes Out In Favor Of Astrology, Ghosts

Rendering of Mr Sagan courtesy of 9gag      

Rendering of Mr Sagan courtesy of 9gag


The scientific community is in uproar today as word was released that the ghost of astronomer, astrophysicist, and cosmologist Carl Sagan reversed his stance on the validity of astrology, as well as on the existence of Ghosts.

Sagan had been known on several occasions to speak out adamantly against astrology, labeling it “sudo-science” due to it’s lack of empirical evidence.

“No one’s more surprised than me on this one, guys. I mean, as I was there on my death bed, or whatever, the last thing I would have thought would be astrology turning out to be real.  For all of my science buddies out there let me say the following statement. It really is me, Carl Sagan, and there’s nothing we can really do about this one. We’re going to have to toss in the hat at admit this to be the way the universe works.”

These posthumous comments were given via a spiritual medium, Rachel Young of Daly City, California. Rachel, a graduate of The University Of Phoenix Online, has been communing with the dead for a number of years, but has rarely connected with a spirit of such notoriety.

“I feel honored to be host to such a well respected member of the afterlife. At first I wasn’t sure if this truly was who it claimed to be, but I was able to get expert testimony proving without a shadow of a doubt, that this is the ghost of the late Carl Sagan working through me.”

When asked where this testimony was given from, she hesitantly responded, “ghost of Einstein.”

As to the apparent existence of ghosts, a subject which he was similarly against in his life, Sagan was less definite in his proclamation.

“After my death, I was extremely sceptical of my own existance. I went years without believing in myself, as the concept of such a being goes against all known science. In the end, I had to bow to the overwhelming empirical evidence. I’m here! I’m a ghost talking through a seer! Astrology is a valid scientific field!

Caleb Finch

Caleb Nathan Friedrich was born in a small coal mining town in northern Pennsylvania to his biological parents Gretchen and Ivan Friedrich. Being the Friedrich’s eleventh child, and seeing the steady decline of Ivan’s health, Caleb was dropped into the, then tumultuous, foster care system. When he turned sixteen he gathered what few items he had and set out to make his mark on the world. Forging false identification and assuming the surname Finch, he was able to talk his way into position for the world renowned San Francisco Inquisitor. He went on to become the newspaper’s longest running editor and chief, and has had many printed collections, including The Time I Spent and The View From the Engine Room. In 1943, Caleb passed away by succoming to his long and painful fight against Butt Aids. It is belived by some that his ghost still haunts different locations in San Francisco, and that it's sort of a dick.