NASA Finds Evidence Of Life In SF's Richmond District


San Francisco, USA - Scientists at NASA have tentatively announced that they have found what could be a possible sign of life in the as yet unexplored Richmond district of San Francisco. The revelation was received by a shocked crowd in front of the government organization’s little-known facility in Berkeley, Calif who had been expecting news from a more likely research enterprise, such as the studies on the international space station or the Mars Curiosity Rover. 

“As unbelievable as the concept seems, an unmanned drone we had originally sent out in a low-profile research study in 1980 suddenly came back online and began sending over shocking, if not low-quality, pictures of what we can only assume is the land beyond Japantown,” said NASA representative Gerard Maddow. 

What is even more astounding is that there seems to be signs of life in the grainy images sent back by the automated probe appropriately named “Unlikely.” In all seven of the pictures taken by the on-board camera atop the automaton, there seems to be signs of not only organic life, but possibly sentient constructs as well. Most of the photographs show Earth sky and what looks to be trees. These images could have come from near the Golden Gate Park, but it has yet to be confirmed if life can exist that far from a more populated neighborhood. 

The most surprising picture shows what is possibly a beer or soda bottle cap lying face-down on what seems to be a paved road. In the background beyond the metal cap is what could be a rudimentary duplex house, but this has yet to be confirmed due to the low quality of the image. 

“I’ve known people who said they were going to the Richmond for a party,” said one low-level NASA employee who preferred to remain anonymous, “but they always say that they couldn’t find anyone out there or that there was no way to get there after dark. I even knew one guy who came back saying that it’s pretty much just empty streets out there anyway.”

NASA still has to confirm and authenticate a lot of data in order to prove the validity of the images and atmospheric information obtained by the probe before it abruptly went offline a few hours after re-activating. Many theories exist about the mystery behind Unlikely’s sporadic consciousness. The leading theory is attributed to Justin Hong, the project’s lead scientist in Berkeley. 

“Unlikely is powered by two large solar panels on it’s rear shell. Given the readings we have on the Richmond’s exposure to the Earth sun, it is likely that the probe doesn’t get enough direct sunlight to power it for much longer than a few hours every decade. We may never hear from this probe until my children are ready for college. That is very sobering, given the high speed of current scientific endeavors.”

Shortly after this discovery the Berkeley division of NASA was moved to West Oakland, where its facility is more affordable, although less comfortable. NASA has yet to give a status on when new information on the matter will be released, as they have yet to start unpacking.