A new study this week reveals that incurring broken ribs sucks. This study, held at John Hopkins Bayview Medical Center, took a group of twenty semi-volunteered participants of varied age, race, and socioeconomic background, and inducing said state of broken ribs, via fist.
Said one participant, “Man, this hurts so bad.” Another Stated, “Oh Jesus fuck, why would you do this?”
Thomas Stephenson, the head researcher and Nobel Laureate, commented on the nature of the study: “This is science at its best. Could we just assume that having broken ribs is unpleasant? Of course not. That’s an untested hypothesis. For all we knew, it could have felt great. It doesn’t, though. It really sucks”
A second control group was not given broken ribs and on the whole felt unaffected, although one man in this group said that he was “a little sad.” This is believed to be unrelated, as it was later learned that he has a horrible life.