Bay Area activists who wish to support and promote same-sex marriage were left scratching their heads today as they struggled to identify each other’s declared gender in a second, impromptu, Chick-fil-A make-out session. The unfortunate androgynous nature of those who participated in the specific event lead to a general sea of confusion over who was supposed to kiss who in order to further the cause of LGBT rights.
The National Center for Lesbian Rights called for the “National Same-Sex Kiss Day” in order to react to the previous national “Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day,” which was organized to protest the LGBT-rights backlash to president Dan Kathy’s stance on same-sex marriage and support of institutions, which protest LGBT lifestyles.
“I was pretty sure I was about to smooch a cute girl today, but he - she? - it? - pushed me away, screaming, ‘I ain’t no breeder!’” said local LBGT organizer Pat McDounnugh.
Thomas Westfield, an Antique Roadshow enthusiast said, “I totally showed Dan Kathy what’s what, today! I kissed at least ten boys today. That is, of course, unless they were women.”
Dozens of San Franciscans could be seen at the Walnut Creek Chick-fil-A, fumbling about like junior high students at a dance as they bashfully asked random people for their gender.
“I’m down for kissing just about anyone,” said Castro resident Bill Syke, “but this sort of limits who I get to kiss - and a lot of these lil’ dykes sure do look like pretty little boys. I’m torn!”
Organizers say that next year they may just opt for a “National Kiss Your Already Declared Same-Sex Partner Day” or simply ask people to wear t-shirts that designate their current gender.