My Emotional Experience of The Career of Weezer

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Due to the deep personal trauma felt by the author, this article has been adapted to the format of a young girl's journal.

May 10, 1994

Dear Computer Diary,

Hold on to your hat, cause have I got some news for you!  I think I found “the one” today. I know that I’ve said that before, but this time it’s different. I was hanging out with chelle in between periods, and just out of the blue she introduced be to “W.”  I knew right away that he was the one. We instantly clicked, like for realsies. All we’ve been doing is driving around, singing together.  Laughing, living, loving.  Also, he taught me to surf.  You know that I hate surfer types, right?? I just feel like I could spend the rest of my life with him.  I hope I do!! 

September 24, 1996

Dear Computer Diary,

I know that I haven’t spoken to you as much as I have, but I’m sure that you understand that my relationship with “W” has changed my life, like, to such a crazy degree that I barely know what to do with myself. First off, we’re doing great. Like, SOOO great!!! I feel like since we’ve last talked our relationships has transformed from a tiny scared caterpillar into a beautiful (yet scary) butterfly. Our relationship is Literally flying around the world from flower to flower. LITERALLY! I think that he’s shared things with me that he’s never shared with anyone else. I don’t even mind about his obsession with his Japanese pen pal, just as long as he’s always open with me. I think he would tell me everything, and I would do the same. He’s my best friend!!  

December 1, 2000

Dear Computer Diary,

Things seem to be taking a darker turn. I can’t quite put my finger on what has changed in my relationship with “W,” but I do know that the burning red fire has left my heart, and all I’m left with is a placid green sea of cold discomfort. We’ve even tried going back the the things we once loved, but it doesn’t feel the same. We’ll spend our nights driving aimlessly, singing together, yet it’s as if our voices are out of sink. Maybe my heart just isn’t in it any more. I think this might just be a phase I’m going through, and I just need to snap out of it and remember how much he’s changed my life. I’m just not sure if I can do it any more. I’m sure we’ll work it out.

May 14, 2002

Dear Computer Diary,

I don’t know when I last turned to you, but things have never been darker. This relationship is choking me to death, and I need to either get out of it, or completely change my role within it. I don’t enjoy anything anymore. I’m pretty sure there are, maybe, two things that have happened, related to this shit storm of a relationship, that I’ve enjoyed in the past two years, and I’m not even sure if I actually like them. At this point, I’m just grasping for straws. Trying to hold onto something that is long dead.  I just want to move on, but it’s so hard. Give me strength!

May 10, 2005

Dear Computer Diary,

Finally!! After years of back and forth, “W” and I have called it quits. Well, I called it quits, to be exact, but it happened. I’ve been trying to hold onto what we had for dear life, but lately he’s been straight up losing his mind. I don’t even feel comfortable writing what he’s put me through here, but I can tell you that I’m no longer able to believe in make believe bullshit. I’m so over him!! You go girl!!!

June 3, 2008

I just saw he who shall not be named on the street. I just kept walking. I’m not ready.

October 30, 2009

Dear Computer Diary,

“W” just sent me an email about how much he’s changed, but it’s obvious that he hasn’t changed at all. I know for a fact that he told at least three people that he’s just going to try and say whatever he can to get back in my life and use me for whatever he sees fit. I can plainly tell that he hasn’t changed one iota, and that I’d just be supporting a layabout degenerate. I’m a stronger person that he knows, and I don’t need him!!

September 10, 2010

I just got back from “W”s funeral. I think he’s really been dead for years. All I can do is remember him as he once was, not as what he became. I'll never forget the good times that we had, but a part of me feels happy that he's finally gone for good. Now I can move on.

Caleb Finch

The TARDIS, 517 Natoma, San Francisco, Ca 94103, USA

Caleb Nathan Friedrich was born in a small coal mining town in northern Pennsylvania to his biological parents Gretchen and Ivan Friedrich. Being the Friedrich’s eleventh child, and seeing the steady decline of Ivan’s health, Caleb was dropped into the, then tumultuous, foster care system. When he turned sixteen he gathered what few items he had and set out to make his mark on the world. Forging false identification and assuming the surname Finch, he was able to talk his way into position for the world renowned San Francisco Inquisitor. He went on to become the newspaper’s longest running editor and chief, and has had many printed collections, including The Time I Spent and The View From the Engine Room. In 1943, Caleb passed away by succoming to his long and painful fight against Butt Aids. It is belived by some that his ghost still haunts different locations in San Francisco, and that it's sort of a dick.