Local “Celebrity” Joshua Harvey Hospitalized For Malnutrition

 Man believed all he needed to survive was vitamin C   

Man believed all he needed to survive was vitamin C

 

Local Inner Richmond resident, Joshua Harvey, collapsed at his workplace - suffering from severe malnutrition as a result of only consuming vitamin C. Harvey is known locally as a member of a San Francisco-based avant garde “comedy troupe” VOID. He is also known for dressing up like Batman and “patrolling” the streets of the Richmond at night.

An ambulance rushed him to a local hospital where he was given an IV drip of necessary nutrients and saline. Witnesses reported hearing him screaming for vitamin C to be added to his liquid regimen. He was then injected with something to help him sleep.

It was later reported by doctors that Harvey had been living almost entirely off of oranges, red bell peppers, and vitamin C supplements for weeks.

“When I was young, my mother impressed on me the importance of vitamin C,” Harvey later said in an interview. “When I was sick, what did my mom get me? Things with vitamin C. If you’re going to eat anything, why not make it something rich in this obvious cure-all of nature?”

Obviously, he neglected to account for the many other vitamins and minerals the body needs to survive. Harvey reportedly was trying to lose weight and would only eat once a day, and always something loaded with vitamin C.

“I mean, he would eat, but it was always something gross like vegetables or fruit,” said fellow VOID member Caleb Finch. “I mean, as long as he was eating something, I was happy - even if it was just vitamin supplements. I care about him, after all.”

When asked why he didn’t inform Harvey about the necessity of other foods, Finch got defensive. “What? I’m not saying he’s bad looking, I’m just saying he could stand to lose a few, you know? Jeez, get off my back, lady. Interview over. What’s your number again?”

Virgil Kester, Harvey’s only other friend was unaware of his problem, and was shocked at his condition.

“I only ever saw him drink. I never really noticed it, but I guess I see now he really had a theme going. Mimosas, OJ and vodka, strawberry daiquiris, hefeweizens with oranges squeezed into them....I just figured he was a bit of a girl-drink drunk, y’know?” Kester said, shrugging.

Harvey is reportedly in stable condition and is being enrolled in a nutrition class at the local community college. Requests to speak to his superiors at the Orange Julius where he works have been ignored as of this publication date.

There has been no discernable spike in crime in the Richmond during his hospitalization.